Akatsuki fun
by t0biisag00db0y
Summary: the leader is out on a solo mission, and all hell breaks loose: Deidara and Sasoi have a prank war, while Zetsu black mails Kisame with a shocking, but predictible secret. Also a mystery person appears.
1. Chapter 1

"DEIDARA!" Sasori yelled, causing Kakazu to lose count of his money. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Kakazu yelled back. "Where is he?" Sasori asked desparetely. "Him and tobi went on a mission, they'll be back tommorow, NOW LET ME HAVE SOME PEACE AND QUIET!" Kakazu said. "BUT HE GOT CLAY SMUDGES ON HIRUKO!" Sasori whined, but Kakazu was too busy re counting his money to hear him. "SHUT THE #$%& UP! I'M TRYING TO PRAY IN HERE!" Hidan shouted from his room in the Akatsuki base. "EVERYONE BE QUIET!" Konan shouted, working on her latest origami model. _I can never get any peace and quiet in a hose full of men! _She thought, making her next fold. it was a good thing the leader was out on a solo mission, or else they'd all be in trouble. Sudenly everything was quiet, all of them knew not to make Konan mad, even Itachi.

"Morning." Kisame yawned, finally waking up. As he got out of bed he noticed something, his magazines were gone! _uh, oh_ he said quietly, if anyone fond them he was going to have allot of explaing to do. "Wait, don't pannick, I'll just ask if anyone was in my room, no big deal..." He told himself. When he left his room he saw Deidara and Sasori wrestleing in the hall way; i don't know why a cave would have a hallway, or rooms for that matter... anyways, back to the story. "UH..." Kisame said akwardly. "what?" they both asked annoyingly. "have you guys seen anyone go into my room lately." Kisame asked, trying to sound innocent. "I think i saw Tobi go in there a while ago, why?" Deidara said. "oh, no reason..." Kisame said. _gotta find Tobi!_ "so...um, where is Tobi?" he asked casualy. "the kitchen" Deidara said, flipping Sasori over.

Kisame Rushed to the kitchen, finding Tobi coloring a picture with some crayons."uh... did you take my magazines?" Kisame asked him. "Tobi wouldn't do that, Tobi is a good boy!" "I see... so were are they?" "I think Zetsu has them" Tobi said. _oh god, Zetsu, he'll tell the others for sure!_

_**Diedara**_: That was terrible

**ME**: you do realise I WAS going to make you win the wrestleing match...

**Diedara**: never mind, so what's going to be in the next chapter?

**Me**: Well, Zetsu black mails Kisame and you and Sasori are going to have a prank war...

**Sasori**: YAY! I AM GOING TO CREAM YOU

**DEIDARA**: OH NO YOU WON'T!

*they start fighting*

**ME**: uhh... chapter 2 will be up next week! Bye!


	2. Chapter 2

Kisame rushed into Zetsu's room, finding him eating a HUGE beef sandwitch, and he had Kisame's Play Boys (yes, i know this is rated K+) sitting in his lap. _oh no! he has them in his sight! now i can't even steel them back! _he thought. After five minutes of akward silence and Kisame starring at Zetsu guiltily, Zetsu finally said "what?" "...my magazines..." Kisame replied. "oh those, let me guess... you want them back," Kisame nodded. "and you don't want me to tell anyone." he nodded again. "Well, i might give them back and not tell anyone, or I might not, it depends what you can do for me." Zetsu said evily. "ANYTHING!" Kisame wimpered. "ANYTHING,you say... mwhahaha!" _uh oh! _kisame thought.

Meanwhile Sasori wanted to get revenge on Deidara for not only winning the wresteling match, but also for steeling his arms and painting his nails pink last week. He decided he was going to replace Deidara's shampoo with Elmers glue, everybody knew how much he loved his hair. But, Sasori was afraid that he was going to get caught, and he knew that if Konan caught him using her glue, the results wouldn't be pretty. And to make things worse, his hands were shaking so badly that he accidently grabbed his owm shampoo and also used up the wholle bottle of glue! _oh no! _he thought. _no worries, I'll just go to the store to buy more glue! _then he Rushed out the cave exit, not notticing that he had ruined his owm shampoo, or that Tobi had been watching him the whole time. "I gotta tell Sanpi!" he said to himself, also taking off.

**Sasori**: I don't like where this is going.

**Deidara**: Well I do!

**Me**: I like it too!

**Kisame**: Of course _you_ like it, you wrote it! *pouts*

**Me**: your just upset because I blew you secret.

**Kisame**: Maybe...

**Me**: Would you feel better if i gave you some Ramen?

**Kisame**: YES! stay tunned for chapter 3! _*nom nom nom...*_


	3. Chapter 3

Sasori ran as fast as his puppet legs could take him, when he finnaly got to the grocery store he was panting and was super exausted, so he sat down by the door and tried to conrol his breathing. The next thing he knew somebody tossed a coin at him "what the-" he said looking up, to find an old woman starring at him "Cheer up young man, things will get better." she said, she smelled heavily of bad perfume. "Do you know who I am?" he asked angrily. "no, but you look in need of a job." _She thinks I'm a homeless person! _"Lady, I don't have time for this!" he said, rushing into the store._ Gotta find the art supplies isle!_ he thought.

Meanwile, Tobi was telling Deidara every last detail about what he saw Sasori do. "Why does it not suprise me, did he do anything else?" Deidara asked curiously. "He used all of Konan's glue!" Tobi said. "Oh dear god! if she finds out that it was him then she'll kill him! even though that means that all i have to do is tell Konan where he is to get revenge, but still, no one deserves this!" Diedara spoke fearfully, even though he was trying to hide his pitty for Sasori, no one wanted to make konan mad, not since what happened to Itachi. Deidara shuttered, it wasn't pretty.

"NO WAY! I AM **NOT** GOING TO BE YOUR PERSONAL SLAVE FOR A WHOLE FREAKING MOUNTH!" Kisame shouted at Zetsu. "fine, then i guess that I'll just show theese magazines to Konan..." Zetsu threatened. "NO! nevermind, I'll do it, just PLEASE don't tell Konan!" _if she finds out about my magazines, she'll kill me for sure! she hates stuff like this! _"Great! Now go make me anther beef sanwitch, SLAVE." Zetsu said, clearly enjoying the fact that Kisame was now in his control.

**Deidara**: Another cliff hanger? you realy need to make the chapter longer!

**Me**: then how would there be any suspence?

**Tobi**: Tobi liked it!

**Me**: Thanks Tobi, would you like a cookie?

**Tobi**: YES!

**Zetsu**: I liked it too, can i have some ham?

**Me**: No, but the next chapter will be up soon!

** NOTE: **i do not own naruto and as much as i wish i did, i doubt i ever will. ( \_/)  
( O.o )


	4. Chapter 4

As Sasori was walking to the art supplies isle he noticed that the store had suddenly gone empty _Weird _he thought. After he found the glue he walked to the check out isle and there was only one cashier there, and he was asleep. "Uh... excuse me?" Sasori said "Five more minutes mom-" the cashier babbled. he started to open his eyes and then sat up. "sorry about that I-" then he got a scared look on his face and ran out of the store. _What the- _Sasori thought, but he didn't get to finish, because after that he was surrounded by ninjas. "SURRENDER SASORI!" one of them shouted. _how do they know that I'm Sasori?_ and then with a jolt he realized he was still wearing his Akatsuki robe...

While Deidara was busy sitting in the kitchen thinking about how to get back at Sasori for trying to sabotage his shampoo, if he even needed to, he noticed Kisame preparing a **HUGE** ham sandwich. "uh... what are you doing?" Deidara asked. "NOTHING!" kisame said shouted quickly, rushing out of the kitchen and taking the sandwich with him. "okay..." Deidara said, sounding very confused. "Senpi, has kisame gone crazy?" Tobi asked. "I don't know tobi." he answered.

Mean while sasori finished defeating the ninjas and was heading back to the base when some one tackled him from behind, the next thing he knew, he was tied to a huge oak tree in front of a beautiful lake, he might have enjoyed the scenery, had he not been captured. "so your awake." a slightly tall, dark haired, skinny woman with deep violet eyes said. She was wearing a black, off the shoulder top with fishnet sleeves, she was also wearing jean shorts, leather gloves, and torn fishnet leggings with over the knee lace up boots. She also had a cocky grin/smirk on her face. "Who the heck are you?" Sasori demanded. "my name is Hekate." she said "But you can call me Hera." "Why have you trapped me here?" he asked, noticing for the first time that he couldn't move. "Because your a wanted S rank criminal that's why." she said, sitting by a campfire, it was getting dark. "As soon as I break free you'll be sorry" he threatened, not wanting her to know that he couldn't move. "You cant, I used my special jutsu." she said knowingly. _oh crud..._ Sasori thought.

**Deidara**: what's going to happen next

**Me**: wait and see

**Sasori**: As I said before, i don't like where this is going

**Me**: Don't worry you won't hurt _*whispers* that badly_

**Sasori**: what was that?

**Me**: nothing, i also have a surprise for Deidara

**Deidara**: what?

**Me**: you'll see...

Note:chapter 5 will be up soon!


	5. Chapter 5

I am sooooooooooo sorry that it took me so long to write this chapter! ( I'm very lazy ) any ways, here it is:

Deidara and Tobi were flying on Deidara's gaint clay bird to buy some more gun powder to prank Sasori, and Tobi was coming because he had annoyed the heck out of Deidara until he let him, come. After Tobi made Deidara stop for 12 bathroom breaks, and stop for slushies 7 more times, Deidara was about to strangle him when they finally reached the store, except for the fact that it was emty and there was a huge crowd of people and ninjas out side. Deidara sighed and turned the bird around to head back to the base. "Senpi, why can't we go to the store?" Tobi asked. "Because there's to many people, we could get spotted." Deidara replied. "oh, can we stop for slushies again? and i have to go to the bathroom." "AGAIN?" Dedara said. "I **TOLD **you to go before we left the base!" "but i _REALY_ have to go!" Tobi whined. "fine." Deidara said, just about to lose it.

After Kisame had made Zetsu about 8 sandwiches and the base was officially out of meat, Zetsu had another idea, he grabbed a tutu, a Carmen Maranda CD, and a web cam. "OH, KISAME" he shouted mischievously...

Meanwhile, Hekate was was cooking something that smelled delicious over the fire, and Sasori was getting really hungry. "Can I ha-" "sure" Hekate said, reading his mind. "oooookaaaaay..." Sasori said. "So, what DO i have to do so you will let me go?" he asked. Hekate reached into her backpack and pulled out a bundle of cloth, when she unrolled the cloth, tons of badly burnt puppet limbs rolled out. "fix it." she said. "That's it, all I have to do is fix your puppet?" Sasori questioned. "Yep." she replied. "why are they burnt?" he asked. "I blew it up."she said."I put the gun powder in the wrong doll." she explained, taking out her sketch book, and handing Sasori some food, still acting like she wasn't sitting there talking to a dangerous S rank criminal. "what will you do if i try to escape?" he asked, somehow regaining the ability to move. "this." she said, muttering something in another language that Sasori couldn't understand. She gestured to a bush by the tree Sasori was half way tied to. Suddenly, a very small wolf pup, with pitch black fur and deep yellow eyes came out and ran to her. Sasori laughed, "THAT is supposed to Attucks me if I try to leave?" he mocked. Then she said another thing that he couldn't understand, and the wolf pup grew until It was about 50 times Sasori's size. Sasori was to surprised to say anything. "His name is Shippo, and if he looks scary now, he can he can get much bigger." "uhhhhh..." Sasori said. "He's also allot more powerful then he looks." She said, then she muttered some more and Shippo transformed back to being the size of a chihuahua. Hekate picked him up and sat him in he lap, lightly stroking his puffy fur. "Oh, and my team mate will be back in an hour." "Team mate?" Sasori gulped. "Yes, her name is Feira." she said. "oh, I thought you meant you boyfriend." heb said. She laughed. "I'm single." she said

**Deidara**: So does Sasori have a new girlfriend or something? and why did it take you so long to finish this chapter? and what's my surprise?

**Me**: She's not _Sasori's _Girl friend.I was busy, and you'll have to wait until my next story for your surprise.

**Deidara**: Your were watching Glee weren't you?

**Me**: Maybe...

**Deidara**: *pouts*

**Me**: don't get mad, you can wait, or is this about something else?

**Deidara**: Hekate seems cute, why does Sasori get to spend time with her?

**Me**: trust me, you won't be mad when I write my next story.

**Tobi**: Tobi is a good boy!

**Me**: yes he is, would you do the honors?

**Tobi**: yes! Chapter 6 will be up soon BYE!


	6. Chapter 6

After another bathroom break and 3 breaks for slurpies, Dei dara was glad to finally be back at the base. "we're here!" he exclaimed, nudgging Tobi, who had falled asleep 10 minutes ago on the way back "Carry me." Tobi yawned. "WHAT? I'M NOT GOING TO-" "PLEASE!" Tobi whined, giving Deidara the anime eyes ( tecniclly, it was more of the anime eye, considering that Tobi's mask only has one eye hole) "fine." Deidara groaned, picking up Tobi (who weighed alot more than he looked like he did), after ptting Tobi in his bed, Deidara had to pee badly, he rushed to the batroom, only to find out htat the door was locked because Kisame was in there Reading one of his "magazines" . After knocking several times and begging for him to get ou alot more times, he finnaly just gave up and decided to hold it.

Mean while, Sasori was almost done fixing Hekate's puppet, when he notticed what she was drawing in her sketch pad, even though they had talked alittle, and she told him she could draw, he didn't know that she was **_this _**good, she was drawing the lake under the full moon, catching every last detail, it was amazing. "wow" he couldn't keep from saying. "What? Is it bad?" she said, gesturing to her drawing. "no, infact it's great, i was just suprised by how good you can draw." he admitted. "oh, thank y-" she said, turning her head around, her waist length black curls bouncing. "Feira!" She exclaimed, waving to a woman about the same age and height as her, she had her long Crayola red hair in a tight pony tail, she was wearing a red tank, fishnet arm warmmers like Hekates, long blue jeans, and sneakers. she was holding a black cat with short hair, its collar said "Moon" and it had yellow eyes that somehow made her red eyes pop out. "Hi, who's he- wait, is that Sasori of the red sand?" she asked nonchalently. "yes, and I teid him to a tree and forced him to fix Minga. " she said, geusturing to her puppet, both of them acting like they wrn't talking to a dangerous S rank criminal. "oh the fire's out." Feira said, seeming to take on a bright glow, she raised her hands above her head and suddenly the fire burst into flames in a flash. The girls giggled at Sasori's O.O expression.

**Deidara**: So is Hekate going to date sasori or not?

**Me**: Not.

**Me**: you'll have to wait and see.

**Deidara**: fine, but i'm not going to wait much longer.

**Me**: Don't worry, I promise chapter 7 will be up as soon as i map it out! Bye!


	7. Chapter 7

Sasori was done with Hecate's puppet, so he decided it was time for him to go back to the Akatsuki base. "You know, you might want to consider joining the Akatsuki.." Sasori offered Hecate as she untied him. "I'll think about it." She said, setting her puppet down on the floor and untieing the last knot "okay, well, bye." he said taking off. "Bye!" Feira waved, seeming sad to see him go.

Deidara decided to go pee in the woods, but as he reached a close by tree, Zetsu jumped infront of him. "Were you about to _pee _on Monica?" Zetsu half-yelled, making A protective stance over the tree. "n-no, I wasn't." Deidara replied. "Good." Zetsu said. "Because if you did I'd have to eat you." he said, walking away suspiciously. Deidara decided he didn't want to take the chance on peeing on another one of Zetsu's "plant friends" so he walked into the base only to find Kisame running away blushing and the whole Akatsuki,beside's Tobi, who was asleep, huddled around Itachi, who was on You Tube. "what's going on, un?" Deidara asked. "Come here, you have to see this %$#!" Hidan called. "Play it again!" Sasori said, back from being captured. "I've playe it five times already!" Itachi whinned. "Come on!" Sasori whinned back, gettin an annoyed sigh as a responce as Itachi played a video of Kisame in a tight pink tutu, dancing to samba music. All the members laughed but Deidara, who was about to burst! "Well, now that that's over I have to go to the bathroom.." Deidara said, taking off. But before he could reach the bathroom Sasori caught him by using his chakra strings to stick him to the ceiling. "not now! I REALY have to pee,un!" Deidara said. "You should have thought about that before you got clay smudges on my puppet!" Sasori said, walking away. "oh crud, un." Deidara said.

**Me**: The end!

**Deidara**: WHAT?

**Me**: Don't worry your all going to be in my next fanfic, and it's going to be a romance!

***All of the Akatsuki***: *groan*

**Me:** Bye!


End file.
